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Posted on Sep 13th by Kate

it wasn't like this yesterday, change, autumn, first day of school, motherwords, just write
It wasn’t like this yesterday. I hear trucks outside and no child startles or runs for cover in me. This truck passes and the living room is still again. The puzzle pieces are impossibly lifeless. There is a vacuum where yesterday was begging for Caillou; there is no desperation pulling on the corners of my pajamas for “up, UP!” Everything is still half alive from breakfast, chairs askew, cups half empty, crumbs and milk splattered under the table. It wasn’t like this yesterday.

It’s Autumn, officially. I can tell because she whispers through the wall’s cracks and kisses my nose and fingertips. I go upstairs to get socks, for the first time in a season. I feel unknown and new in this familiar place. The air feels like apple picking and smells of chalk and pencil lead (or maybe that’s just my mind making sense with what I used to know). I make tea uninterrupted. I sit here until the kettle moves me. It wasn’t like this yesterday.

This is what I asked for, but I no longer understand calm, so I watch his last recording.

Everything is moving and hot. All around the kitchen cockadoodle doodle doo.

His hair swirls around his crown, sticky sweat around his ears. He sits, rocking from his core, bottom firmly on the carpet. The rest of him is a childish gyration. The late afternoon sun pounds through the white cotton curtains. The black fan on the white table doggedly pushes the same air in a circle. Everything is alive, in motion. Even the dust in the air takes up space and dances.

Make your arms into trees, now wave them in the breeze. He does, grinning, and glances back at me for approval. I hear my laughter, but it sounds like a mother’s laughter, not my own. Nostalgia comes, already.

It wasn’t like this yesterday.

~~~

I wrote this post in for Heather of the Extraordinary-Ordinary‘s Just Write prompt. Please head over there and see who else participated!

Just Write

27 Comments

27 Responses to Alone

  1. MinnesotaJoY says:

    Oh Kate. This is just lovely. As are you.

    <3

  2. Ellie says:

    OH. I loved this. So much.

    And this sentence… "Everything is still half alive from breakfast, chairs askew, cups half empty, crumbs and milk splattered under the table."

    Genius.

    -Ellie

    • Kate says:

      I find it's not that way after dinner. After dinner everything is just tired. but after breakfast, even the spills are talking.

  3. Jamie says:

    goosebumps! This was awesome. I love how you juxtaposed the empty of today with the full of yesterday in vivid imagery!…and images that any mother could recognize! I love it.

  4. nicole says:

    This is great. Mysterious in some ways. Familiar in some ways too though.

  5. alita says:

    I love every word of this and did not want the musings to end with the last sentence. You have a great talent with words infused with emotion.

    Alita

  6. TheJackB says:

    "It wasn’t like this yesterday."

    I loved that ending. Solid.

  7. Marta28 says:

    I LOVED this. I just wanted to keep reading more and more. I could have read "it wasn't like this yesterday" a 100 more times. =)

  8. Bridget says:

    How is this? That we get exactly what we want…only to find it's not nearly what we thought it would be?

  9. darcie says:

    Wow. I had goosebumps reading this.
    "It wasn’t like this yesterday."

    So so true.

  10. Chloe says:

    This is amazing xx

  11. Amber @ NotMommy says:

    Serious talent friend, this was gorgeous.

  12. I LOVED this. Thank you so much for doing Just Write. You need to do it again, you're very good at it.

    xo

  13. jfarelyn says:

    beautifully done. I was right there with you!

  14. Pingback: Gratitude and a Warm Bed | Perpetually Nesting

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  • meet Kate
    Mom, foodie, fashion junkie, social media native, writer of words. Is coming to terms with the fact that becoming a soccer mom is no longer optional.
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